Saturday, September 18, 2010 -

It is interesting how people see you and how you really perceive yourself to be, in your mind’s eye.
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I find it fascinating to hear my old friends talk about my character and their perceptions of who I am or was years ago and try to reconcile the difference of how I really see myself….but many times an outsider’s opinion does give me a greater insight on certain aspects of myself.
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Sometimes when I catch up with my secondary school buddies and wax nostalgic about the good ol’ days, they bring up various anecdotes, some relating to me and these are stories that I’ve forgotten, or still vaguely remember and I get a good chuckle out of them. These anecdotes help provide me a interesting snapshot of who I was 10 years ago…and an indication of how much or little I’ve changed over time and how certain core personality traits have remarkably remained virtually intact over time.
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I think this French phrase sums it up best for me:
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“plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose”
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A few weeks ago, I was shooting pool with an old friend I’ve known since Secondary 1, we used to hang out in school all the time and we’ve bumped into each other and had long chats a few times over the years but we’ve not hung out for a solid block of time for over 9 years by my estimate.
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Anyway, we met each other and within a few minutes we were hitting off like it was 1997 all over again. He said he was afraid that I’ve cleaned up my act and gone decent after all these years but was relieved that I’m still the laid-back prankster he knew way back when…make what you will of that statement …haha
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Anyway he was telling me quite enthusiastically about his most vivid and unforgettable memory of our secondary school days; it was a prank I pulled on one of the guys from our clique involving one of the girls he liked. Anyway Long story, there was a letter written by me that was part of the prank….and my friend was reciting the contents that short letter, line for line….10 years after I played the prank!!
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I still remember the prank of course in a fuzzy way but was frankly amazed by my friend’s vivid recollection about the sequence of events in the prank and the contents of the letter……to me, it was just one of the many semi-harmless pranks I pulled during my 4 years in secondary school…certainly it wasn’t anywhere as memorable for me as it was for me….
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It’s weird but kinda funny to me what impression or effect (positive or negative) you have on someone, as a friend. In many instances, A friend’s first exposure to you is how he/ she will probably how they’ll see you from thereon in.
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I was the Happy-go-lucky, outspoken, devil-may-care Prankster back then, that’s how he met me and that’s how he will define me for the rest of our friendship…haha
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The fact is that Everybody goes through different phases of their lives, I was the Prankster in Secondary school, the “Artsy Fartsy” art student in Laselle, The funny but odd guy in Polytechnic, the Guy who “got along with everyone” in Army, The quiet, enigmatic but hardworking guy who took charge of projects in University and the occasionally funny ,straight-shooter who makes his stand in work now…..
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The one thing however that has not changed despite the different phases I gone through…is my Core personality……despite whichever phase of my life someone first came to know me, ask anybody from whichever group of friends….and I firmly believe that all my different group of friends will arrive on the same conclusion about the type of person I really am underneath all the humor and sarcasm…….
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Like for example, I realize Humor is a constant in my personality and has been no matter what phase of life I am in…..I cannot not joke…..even if I try to maintain a more stoic stance when people first meet me, but inevitably that humorous aspects just seeps out…whether that’s a good thing, well it remains to be seen…haha
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If someone told a particular group of friends that I was a quiet, private and unsociable guy, they would probably laugh-out loud. Likewise if someone told another group that I am this incredibly outspoken, sociable extrovert, they would probably laugh in disbelief….
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Am I a Quiet or sociable Person? Compromising or Uncompromising? Nice or mean? Artsy or business-oriented?....the answer is quite simply: All of the Above.
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When I’m in the mood, relaxed and with the right people, I can be belting jokes out like homeruns one after the other, holding the attention of the large group and literally have them eating out of my hands….I have done so before and can do so again….But on the other hand, when I am in one of my more contemplative moods, I can also project this impenetrable aura of silence that people and even friends will find it hard to work around…..being sociable and quiet are both aspects of my personality because they are NOT mutually exclusive….Most people are not just simply “quiet” or just “talkative”…most people are both depending on the situation…
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As is our nature, People always try to pigeon-hole others because its more comfortable to do so and nobody likes to deal with a wild-card, somebody they can’t define…that’s why as humans, we always try to throw a label on others….”The Clown”, “The nice guy”, “ The Asshole”, “The Quiet guy”, “The bimbo”…….
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The truth is that no one is a 2 dimensional construct and everyone has a 3-dimensional personality and various aspects to their personality that can manifest depending on the people he/she is with, the situation and their mood on a given day.
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“The clown” probably has his bad days too when he dun wanna joke….”the asshole” is probably capable of doing something nice once in a while….”The nice guy” probably also thinks about wringing the neck of some people he dislikes…..
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It’s not always possible, but I do always try my very best to judge my friends by his/her core personality and not their personality quirks….to determine whether he or she is somebody who I would like to be around with…but of course, I am only human and also prone to letting someone’s secondary traits color my perceptions from time to time
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For example, I realised that I have always been on good terms with a lot of Ah Bengs throughout my Pri/Sec/Army days….sure they’re loud, brusque, speak horrible English, prone to excessive cursing…but I recognize and acknowledge the fact that underneath the Sturm und Drang, a lot of them are stand-up guys…..they honor their word, and are loyal and straight-forward….so why won’t I want to hang out with them? Because they can’t speak proper English?
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Anyway what’s the whole point of this whole post again????LOL!.....I guess it’s just my random musings about the interesting discrepancies or matching facts we uncover when various friends tell you about their perception of your personality…..and utimately how we sometimes recognize and are amused by being labeled in a certain way by friends but yet also are guilty of labeling or writing people off based on our own perceptions of them without making the effort to recognize them for the kind of people they really are underneath it all…
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Alright…Ow……My head hurts. Why do Stuff like this actually consume my waking thoughts….Jeez….
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Anyway this post is dedicated to my old friend ;”Mighty Mouse”……his insights on my personality and my own opinions on the matter have strangely aligned and he has confirmed my worst suspicions that I was a Smart-ass, Nothing-better-to-do Prankster back then and 10 years later that Streak is still alive and well in me…LOL!!
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Well…. plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose indeed eh?hahaha...

12:42 AM