Sunday, November 11, 2007 -

It is Officially OVER.

After 1 and 1/2 months of exams preparation and studying.........finally the whole damn thing is over and done with on friday....... I must have gone through each subject 7 times from start to finish....and I'm glad as hell.........I kind of regretted jumping into Uni before I even ORDed from army cos it was like jumping from one 2 year comittment to another.....with no break in between.....

The first few weeks of University were more relaxed without project deadlines and everything but all the rest time was for the naught since I had to alternate between school and army for those few weeks and by the time I was officially out of the army.....My projects were all due, plus mid-terms and then the final exams......so after almost 2 1/2 years of hustle and bustle.......I finally reached my long awaited break........honestly that night I finished my exams was the best sleep I had in ages.......was damn good...........felt so free and unburdened for the first time in 2 years when I woke up the next day.....

The next two weeks will be a nice period of detoxification...........I'm gonna be working out every day, relaxing, reading or watching some of the stuff that I haven't previously had time for........I'm going to sleep early and most importantly I'm gonna sleep peacefully.........the two years of grave yard shifts have effed me up pretty bad in some ways......mostly physical,I'm constantly exhausted during the day, I don't sleep well at night........and I wake up periodically through the night........or when I hear any sounds......cos let's face it that was what I was trained to do for two years......I walk and talk with a certain weariness........from now till the end of november.....its gonna be working out every morning, jogging every day, controlled and planned meals, earlier sleep time, lesser stress, more relaxation......... so I'm hoping this two weeks can help undo some of the damage from the two years.....hahaha......looking forward to it.....

I went to Changi with my parents for dinner today and it was to me, very much like coming full circle.........the car passed the ferry terminal where I would be at EVERY sunday, scanning my 11 B and taking the slow bumpy ferry ride back to Tekong for another week of training........wearing my goofy jonkey cap, carrying my field pack with a completely down-cast look on my face.......every week without fail.......I would be so goddamn-happy on saturdays when I booked out and so bloody bummed out less then 24 hrs later when I had to book in the next day.....hahaha.....passing the terminal sure brings back some fun times....hahaha....

I don't think I'm completely out of my army mode yet though, putting an M-16 and asking me to guard 14 hrs alone in a spot wouldnt be too much of a stretch even though I ORDed exactly 2 mths ago......could still do it......with no problem at all.......then I look at my 11B ID card and see the "NS Men" label pasted over "NSF" under my current Military status.......and I know......I know I've served my 2 year term and that I can close the chapter on that phase of my life now...

Well I'm going to write a good,long post about my reflections on my time with the military within this few days now that I have the time...........but rather then go through specific events again and all the stuff I've done.....field camps, route march and whatever.....I don't think I wanna do it in that kind of straightforward,detailed and verbose manner.......which would make the post longer and dryer then the dead sea scrolls....haha....I would just like to specifically talk about my feelings or opinions about the whole thing........the kind of fundamental changes that these period has made on me.......like to critically dissect myself and look at everything with a fresh perspective.......help myself make sense of things to be honest.....well in my next post anyway....

One thing though.........I honestly think that the whole affair has been a positive one.......despite the ass-load of shit and pricks I've met or kow-towed under......despite getting shouted at by everybody from the canteen aunty to construction site foremen to firemen to colonels......despite working ungodly hours and coming back and sleeping on bed sheets stained yellow and brown with the sweat of god know how many people...........I think the whole experience wasn't a waste of my two years....haha.....honestly.......I think I'm more positive person now.......hahaha.....

After having a shit load of problems happening on a pretty much weekly basis for 2 years.......I don't stress myself, engage in hysterical behavious like some of my army mates ALWAYS do or curse and swear at the whole world for the bout of bad luck..........I just kind of anticipate the fact that bad shit is always going to happen no matter what and get started with my game plan on how to pull my ass out of the fire............hahaha.....I think that's great...... when I know the shit is going to hit the fan but I'm rational and ready for it......hahaha......

Damaged the roof of a car? Chicken Feed!.......LapTop flew off the bloody table and is in pieces? No problem!......Letting a drill bomb in the base while working with a semi-retard? Hey...it ain't the end of the world!......Having a new Government policy passed down about active NS guys not being able to study using their leave 2 weeks before my school terms started and 7 days before the $6000 I had already paid would be forfeit?? Hoho......Bring it on!!...........hahaha......I remembered all my colleagues that were enrolled in NUS, NTU and SIM were running like chickens with their heads cut off when that bloody policy was past down a couple of weeks before everyone was going to study.......but I had these crazy calm and expressionless look on my face thinking "Bad things happening during the last minute AGAIN??.....you worked 2 effing years in this base and you're actually surprised by this...HUH??!?!"........haha....

It was hilarious.....so much bad shit had happened to me for like months upon months up till that point that I WOULD have been surprised if thinsg went well........people thought I was insane....when I told them these matter would eventually be resolved and not to worry too much.......and it did......after some blackmailing, puppy dog eyeing........I did start my school term as orginally planned after all....sure it was three times as hard for me to do so then most people I knew....but it did finally go according to plan ......hahaha.....I had no doubts about it in my mind....none at all......that I could have pulled an ace despite the shitty deck of cards I was dealt with......haha

Ah well.........the complete Reflection of my experiences will be in the next post.......for now......its time to relax.....I've finally hunted down the movie, Chopper with Eric Bana and I rented Ridley Scott's Aalien plus the Bruce Almighty flick..........and I bought the 3 disc Gladiator ( my favorite swords and Sandals movie......more then 300 even)extended edition with Russel crowe and Joaquin pheonix that was on sale at HMV and I got the all new Director's cut of Troy with 30 mins of additional story, nudity and violence......hahaha.......and I can finally read the art of Barry Windsor Smith artbook I bought 2 mths ago..........I sound like I'm semi-starved of any entertainment.......hahah...but you know....we should enjoy the small pleasures we get out of life.....no matter how small....haha......ok that's it for now.........going to turn in early today........morning jog for me tommorrow.........So this is me signing off.....

4:50 AM