Friday, October 07, 2005 -

Miracles of miracles....I'm back for a quick update!!!!...hahaha.........its a miracle I found time to write this blog.....cos every weekend I am trying to do a hundred different things at once to make up for lost time...seriously, last week I was surfing the net,watching Karena Lam's movie "Mob sister" and eating an early dinner and packing my bag...at the same time.....hahha...Its already been a month since I enlisted...Life has been great....the food has been edible, the drinks like the fruit juice and punch are two drops away from being colored plain water, the girls are non-existent except for the most eligible female who's a saggy 55 year old woman who works at tekong's mini-mart, you have to sleep with 11 other man in the same bedroom,I can wear the same bloody uniform for 3 days in a row, about 10-15 people can see my bare naked ass everytime I shower and I even get to wake up at 5.30 am every day....WOW.....can You feel my joy yet?....hahaha

Now I'm already 1/3 rd done for my stay in tekong.....I've completed my IPPT phase( The physical training phase) and I've already jumped into my actual BMT phase on friday which cover more combat,field and technical related areas........the schedule will be damn packed for the next few weeks, the seargent told us to expect maybe 1 or 2 hrs of free time a day and he says we'll be so tired sometimes that we won't even wanna bathe.......a very comforting thought...hahaha.....but I'm getting more used to army life bit by bit I think....I just wanna get through my BMT and compelte my two years of service....my aunty says that too years will pass in the blink of any eye......I'm not sure what eye is that supposed to be cos I've blinked thousands of times.....hahaha...and I'm still in tekong,sweating buckets of sweat..hahha...

Seriously though....life ain't hat bad in tekong......I'm really enjoying some of the physical training.......I can run 4.8 km without seeing angels dance around me, I can do 7 pull-ups, 52 sit-ups in 60 seconds, 20-30 push ups without much hassle.......physically I think I'm coping well........out of my platoon of 50 people,only about 8 have never reported sick,injured or missed any of the strength and speed training exercises and I'm one of them.........hahaha.....its damn scary how chiar lat some people are...they report to the medical centre for every damn thing in order to escape training......flu,headache,slight muscle ache,stomach ache,diarhorea even surn burns......hahhahaha.......I think My platoon achieved some record for highest number of people on medical status on friday....cos friday was the first day of BMT and the schedule was super-packed......we were informed of the schedule on thursday evening....and suddenly on friday...23 out of 50 people reported sick or for injuries...that's half my platoon!!!....hahaha.........damn those scheming fools!!........

If I have some small sickness like flue ,I won't report it to miss training cos 8 rounds of running is the best cure for flu...hahaha...., if you wanna do something... do it big....hahhaha......I dun want attend B medical status(where u have to stay in tekong but you will be excused from exercise for a few days)......I wanna go straight for the attend C status( where you have fever and can book out of tekong for a few days)...hahaha.....I tried to get sick this week but really cannot man.....haiz.....I had flu and sore throat on sunday but when I booked in, I was cured....I had a fever on monday but It wasn't high enuff to report to the medical centre....hahaha.....I tried eating Oras and drinking milo to make myself more heaty....but......dammit, after I did my strength training that day....the fever was gone........I think my immune system is like on steroids right now...........some people can can fever 3 out of 4 weeks in Tekong like one of my bunk mates.......hahha.....me? I'm still trying to get attend C just once.......cos my Officer in charge thinks I'm some kind of super healthy and dedicated recruit after he saw my physical test results and attendance record.....that would hinder my dreams of getting a 8-5 job as an administrative worker.....hahaha

The physical training is ok.......cos even no matter how shagged and tired and freaking exhausted you are....you know that after you had your rest....you'll be fine and ready to go on the next day........but I think the mental part is more important then the physical part in tekong........its better to be physicaly weak and mentall strong then the other way round......haa.....3 people have gone mad in my company....and its some scary shit.....army life is so different from their normal lifestyles...that they just snap.....hahha......this one guy was punished by his seargent and had to do 50 jumping jacks,after he did them...he ran up to his bunk at the 4th floor, screamed,kicked his metal cupboard,threw his helmet and continued screaming.........hahahha....funny shit........going mad after 50 jumping jacks.....at least if he goes mad after 50 push ups or wat I Can still understand....hahhaha....needless to say that guy got his psycho ass hauled off back to woodbridge that afternoon......scary seeing people go mad like this....haha......his scream was just.......effed up.....like he was in the depths of hell or something....hahhaa....

I think I'm fairly well-adjusted..........I just let each day pass by itself.....as long as once a week I can book out on a saturday....I don't even care how bad the food is..I just eat whatever they give me so I will have energy for training,I don't care what sort of training or physical shit they put me through....I'll just do everything nicely so I can get out of that island every.....guess I'm getting used to it, I don't feel too sad booking out on sat and going back on sun.....I'm taking the physical stuff quite well......and I don't really feel home sick even when I first came in......the only thing that takes alittle getting used to is the thought of doing this for the next 2 years........to get only a day out every week for the next two years, to surf the net and watch tv once or twice a week only, to wake up at 5.30 am and sleep at 10.30 am everyday for two years.........I'm still wrapping my head around that concept......hahaha......seriously I feel kinda weird when I go orchard road in my civilian clothes after looking at bald,uniformed people driving green colored vehicles six days a week.......hahaha......females now look like some great wondrous new race of creatures everytime I book out......hahaha...two years of this........I hope I wrapped my head around this idea by the time my 3 mths in tekong ends.......I think I will...hhaaha...I have to!!

Anyway here's just a recap of some more notable stuff in camp so far:

1) My buddy is a retard - he looks like a cro-magnon man, he lost his gold pendant on the first day of NS, he whacked his bottle of body foam off the third floor on the second day, he waked me up on the third day at 3 am cos he was scared of going to the toilet, he bought some freshener on the 6th day and did'nt know how to use it so he took out the gel subsatnce in the freshener and placed it in his hands, he could'nt do some simple PE exercise and cos I was his buddy I had to do the same exercise with him in front of 200 people as a punishment for him, he had to write 500 lines of "I will remember to shave)"and 500 lines of "I will not lie to my commander" cos his facial hair only grows at the side of his head(like an orang-utan) and he din shave after the seargent told him to, he sprays holy water made out of a burnt amulet,glutinous rice and tea leaves on his body and bed before he dares to sleep, he lost his body foam again this week, he tried to apologise to me for making me do the stupid exercise punishment with him by giving me a packet of Oreos....seemed good until I realized he gave me some Orea knock-off called Cream-o...which further aggravated me, he started acting like Rambo and making his own childish sound effects and pinting his guns everywhere when the officer passed him his actual m-16 rifle, he's a vegetarian yet during the friday of my two weeks confinement he wanted to smuggle 2 pork floss buns and 3 swiss rolls back to the bunk so he could bring them home for his family and its a lucky thing the seargent saw the porkfloss buns sticking out of his pants pockets like his balls were swollen...cos Pork is forbidden in bunks cos if there is any prok brought into the bunks some weird-ass mystical voodoo is gonna start happening...........I'm sure I'll have more stuff by the next time I post, I'll also try to post a photo of him after I pop in 2 mths so all of you could really see that he's the missing link between man and ape...........haiz.....but I guess all's fair in life, he's a buddhist/vegetarian and so he belives in Karma......well he's been assigned as a toilet cleaner, where he have to clean tons of shit every morning at 7am.......so I guess......Karma really exists...hahhaa

2) I tasted someones sweat - It was traumatic.......I had my first add test. One of the stations was the CPR test........we had to wear our helmet and uniform for the test, so anyways one of the CPR segements was clearing the victims air waves.........so I played the victim and this guy from another section asked me to open my mouth so he could check if my air way was clear and if there was any food in it......that numb nuts was bleeding profusely....and as I opened my mouth...one FRICKING drop of sweat dripped from his helmet straight into my mouth......hahhaha....shit man...i was blowing outta my mouth,trying to blow the freaking salty taste outta my mouth.....hahhaa....some more the seargent said to me:" Aye victim can still move ar?!"....ahhaha

3) I kanna Guard Duty- Tuesday this week I was selected to go guard duty where from 7pm to 7am next day, 4 groups of us had to take turns to patrol the island in different shifts...I had two shifts, 8pm to 10 pm and 2am to 4 am......we could sleep during the time between our shifts......too bad the guard rest room is the filthiest place I have ever seen...EVER.....There are twelve beds there.......all twelve beds and the pillows are black and coated in thick ash-like dust all over, there are ants all over the floors, there are rotting chicken-wing bones in the cabinet that has been there since lord only knows when, 3 out of 5 fans are spoilt and all are coated aith thick/black dirt and there are even RATS scurrying around the room under the beds.........I was glad everytime my shift was done so I could get out of that room......I patroled the island 4 times which totalled to abot 12-15km.......the patrolling was okay.....but it rained like holy helll at 4 am.....wow, the sky was orange and lightning was streaking everywhere.......the worst part was just the sleeping condition.....I din even sleep at all that night, I just sat on a chair and read someone's FHM..........I was off duty at 7 am next day on wednesday......and after breakfast I was aloowed to rest at my bunk and sleep until 10.45 am....but then my seargent decided to conduct "Stand By area" inspection at 7.30 am and I was aloowed to sleep while everyone else who did nt do guard duty was doing pumping for failing to clean the room......the seargents was both shouting, my platoon mates were all pumping......and needless to say I just pretended to close my eyes...........so did'nt catch any sleep,went for lunch after that and at 3 pm I had my Route March where I strapped 10 kg worth of extra stuff like my field pack and rifle and SBO and marched for 4 km weighing like 72kg............nearly died...but survived and went for dinner and after that had to prepare for the next day....so finally at 10.30 pm I could sleep.......so I was awake from 5.20 am on tuesday to 10.30pm on wednesday.......I stayed up for 40 hrs without sleep.....that's gotta be some new kinda personal insomnia-related record for me......next day I felt like shit.......really shit.....hahaha... plus I had what I call a Triple blister after guard duty...the day before guard duty, I had a blister on the second last toe of my left foot after running bout3.6km ....and since the next day I had guard duty I had to pierce the blister and drain the fluid so that It won't be that pain when I walk, den the day of guard duty...after walking for so many hours I got a new blister on the same toe and since I had route march later during the day I had to burst the blister again and after the 4km route march a new blister grew on the same toe!! The blister grew one after another on the same toe...wah lau.....hahaha....there were like remenants of the two previous blister covering the third one......super weird....

Hhahahha...........damn man....some really interesting but weird shit is always happening in Tekong...hahaha.....but I guess after all the training and punishment and whatever.......it kinda makes you appreciative of the small things in life.......I'm seriously deprived man.....for the past week I have been fantasizing about eating at Burger King and just taking a long,nice walk in Bukit Pnajang Plaza......when you miss going to a cock-up,boring-ass shopping centre like BP Plaza...you know you have some major problems........hahahha........a month ago, I could go there anytime I wanted, any day of the week......now? My idea of a fan-f*cking-tastic time is just walking at Bukit Panjang plaza,buying some new vcds and eating Mcdonald's Big Mac extra value meal...I haven't found the time to do it yet...but I think I got a 4 day holiday in the beginning of November.....hahaha....I'm gonna go Bp Plaza and chiong the TS video,NTUC and Mcdonalds during the 4 day break...hhaha...........

Damn man....I should also mention that I'm bald as hell now.......haiz every 3 weeks must cut hair, I was already having a nice bushy George Cloonely-kinda amount of hair this week..........then the barbers came in and shaved everything off..........I call them the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.........4 of them just ride in and raid the entire company of their precious hair......and they even charge you $2 for this effed up hair cut!!!!Those Bloodsuckers!!! Shit and one fat malay woman barber is actually a trasvestite........one of my stupid platoon mate shouted "BAPOK" from the 2nd level at that He/she when she was wheeling his stuff to the training shack on the ground level....then at this moment I came out and asked"Bapok? where got Bapok?"........den I looked down from the second floor and the fat trans turned her head back and waved at me after hearing him shout "Bapok!"..........SHIT MAN........I ran straight back into my bunk in terror.....

And now....for the next part of my post....A Survey? Some fellas...hahha.....have been saying that its super unlikely and doubtful that I would do this survey......well I LIVE to defy expectations and prove people wrong!!!.....Here goes.....

7 things that scare me:

1.) Having no plans and long term goals for my future
2.) The food in tekong
3.) Getting foot rot,dengue fever or other serious diseases during my stay in tekong
4.) Anything majorly bad that happen to my family,friends or loved ones
5.) Getting confined in camp during my precious saturdays
6.) My retarded buddy screwing up during live firing and getting me into trouble
7.) SY in a bikini....hahhaha

7 things I like the most about Me:

1.) My voice - I have a heckuva diverse range of different voices for any occasion or situation and I do a lovely impression of Yoda.
2.) My eyes - I like my eyes......long lashes are cool
3.) My Family.....AWWWWW
4.) My Friends....Double AWWWWW
5.)My Schlong- Its all good baby....its all good..
6.) My artistic leanings- drawing well is always an assets in many situations
7.) My collection of pirated dvds

7 things I hate the most about me:

1.) Short attention span- blank out completely at times
2.) My thighs - too meaty I think....
3.) I just can't turn down people who ask me for help- I feel bad if I do even when I have no reason for feeling bad...hahaha...at all...
4.)My current hair cut
5.)Dark eyes from lack of sleep
6.)My chinese....I can't read anything beyond primary 6 level
7.) Can't save any money even if my life depended on it

7 Most important things in my Room:

1.) My air-con -once a week I get to sleep in my air-con room and snuggle with my blanket......heavenly
2.)My drawing Table - spend hours on it.....well...used to...
3.) My blanket - I like my stinky blanket........its releases this pheromone that makes me feel blissfully sleepy
4.) My shelves of comics and trade aperbacks
5.) My cupboard full of keep sakes,momentoes,etc
6.) My Baby photos
7.) My Lava lamp- Did I mention I have a Lava Lamp?! I HAVE A LAVA LAMP!!...hahaha.....whenever I book out on saturday...I will turn on my lava lamp and just enjoy staring at it for 15 mins....hypnotically relaxing

7 Random Facts about me:

1.) I Love playing with kids
2.) I poop twice a week only in tekong -cos of the long ques and the shitty condition and atmospherics of the toilets at times....its better to just suck back your poop and go back to your bunk and sleep. *Note: Never go without pooping for more then 3 days cos if you do, when you finally poop....the pain will be the closest thing to child birth you'll ver feel/ plus farting when running your shuttle run is just embarassing..
3.) My legs are not the hairiest in tekong
4.)I passed My pull-up trial test liao...7 pull-ups Baby!!
5.) I like comics
6.) I broke my two front teeth when I was 3....and the adult teeth grew out a record breaking 2 years after my milk teeth came out!! I was bogay for two years when I was very young......
7.) My favorite snack is roasted chest nuts

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1.) Make a million bucks
2.) Buy the Detective comics#27 - the first appearance of Batman in 1939!!
3.) See my kids grow up in the future
4.) Watch Every episode of Batman the animated series and Seinfeld
5.) Visit different countries
6.) Meet up with all my old friends to catch up and talk about the good ol' days
7.) Make sure my Insurance policy is paid up

7 things I can do:

1.) Draw
2.)Slack
3.)Sleep
4.)Eat
5.) Fondle..hahhaha
6.) waste an hour of my time doing this damn survey
7.) Speak impeccable english

7 things I can't do:

1.) Fooling myself that this survey is actually not a waste of my time..hhaha
2.) sneeze and open my eyes at the same time
3.) poop daily in tekong
4.) Say that Tekong's food is good
5.) Convince myself that my army buddy is not retarded or a descendant of fred flintstone
6.) Be interested in more then one person at a time......hahhhaha...only my pal Gav can do it
7.) Paint well

7 things I say the most:

1.) BULLSHIT!
2.) Dammit!!
3.) Aye action ar!
4.) Sian siar!
5.) Aye can you don't disturb Sy or not...?
6.) Yo!
7.) Aye Eff lar!!

7 celeb crushes:

1.) Karena Lin Jia xin - accept no substitues
2.) Angelina Jolie - hottest lips EVER
3.) Christy Chung
4.) Jessica Alba
5.) Celest Chong
6.) Fiona Xie
7.) Elva Hsiao

Actaully number 3 to 7 are not really celeb crushes...they r just gorgeous and appealing to me......but I'm not actually a big fan of theirs..

7 people I've love to see doing this:

1.) SY- I'm really curious about who are the 7 celebs that she managed to crush
2.) Wenjun - Done already....Super Unlikely I'll do eh?Ha!
3.) Huiling- Done already........You doubt I will do this? Ha!
4.) Geraldine - the girls only left you haven't do the survey liao gerald
5.) Felix - I wanna know what is Felix's favorite 7 things he can do to a dog
6.) Liang Jie- My Blogless friend whose platoon mates stole 6 loafs of Gardenia bread right under me
7.)Lin Jia xin- Frankly I would love seeing her do anything.....

So There you go!! I did the survey!!!.................and just waited 1 over hr of my goddamn precious saturday doing it!!hahahhaa.......its freaking 12.40 am now.....shit man.....I should have just been predictable and not do this survey......but They were challenging me I tell ya!!! Doubting me....knowing that I will defy their doubts and do the survey!!hahha.....damn I really regret doing the survey.........hahhaha

well......Just came back from dinner with my parents, My father and brother's birthday was on 5th october on wednesday but since I was in camp......we had to wait till Saturday to have the birthday dinner together..........eat a helluva lot of stuff at Dan Ryans near tanglin mall.....food is not bad...........

Also some not so good stuff has happened to my grandparents and cousin......My gandfather is a diabetic and both of his legs are completely black cos of the water retention and poor blood circulation.......and he had a cut the other day, for a diabetic wounds are super dangerous and take forvever to heal......after my gandfather cut himself, the wound was infected, he had a fever and the doctor said that they might need to amputate his legs.......thank God he got better and it did'nt have to come to that........For My grandmother, she like many women of her age has extremely weak legs, My grandmother is on the heavy side so her legs cannot take her body weight and dareby are contorted outwards....so instead of having straight legs her legs contort outwards at her knee level and they look like a triangle.....plus my grand mother previously had a metal rod installed in her leg so when her legs contort outwards the metal rod digs into her knees........so she came home one night and while she was climbing the short steps to her door(My grandparents live on the house on the ground level/void deck of Bishan and they have a small stair case leading to their house)....my Granny tripped and fell on her face......now my grandmother's mouth is completely bruised and swollen and her botton row of teeth are all cracked..................and if that's not enough one of my younger cousins, Troy, who's taking his PSLE now had contracted some super high fever and a few daya later he seemed to have lost the use of both his legs......so my aunty had to request that he take his PSLE paper in the ground floor of the shcool instead of the Hall because he was in great pain and his legs have been rendered useless currently......the doctors still dunno what kinda sickness he contracted but I hear that his condition is a temporal one..........I hope all three of them get better soon.......Its really shitty hearing these kind of shitty things..........I'm in some remote island across the sea training from day to night and I basically can't do nuts about anything when I hear about this kinda stuff happening............. alittle bit effed up....I'm always getting these kinda news only days after they happen cos of my stay in tekong......bad for morale....make a shittier and exhausting day worse with this kinda things happening.....I guess its true what they say....."when it rains,it pours"...

Alright tommorrow or rather later today is booking in time again.....next week my BMT starts and the schdeuled is gonna be packed like all hell and I got my 6 km route march.......the route march is the ONLY freaking item I genuinely dread doing........marching in steps,singing songs, with a 7kg field pack strapped on your back, a 3kg SBO strapped to your waist, A 4kg rifle with the strap biting into your neck and wearing these super hot helmet and going for 6 km is no joke...........goddamn.....everytime I return from a route march, my shirt is soaked wet, my glasses are all fogged up,my eyes are hurting from the sweat that drip into them..........the only physical training item that really exhausts me and test my limits........Lord knows how am I ever gonna be able to do my 24 km road march at the end of my BMT..........hahhaha......I try my best to do it........I ain't ever gonna fall out of any route march until I'm on the verge of collapsing........I've seen people fall out in large numbers after walking 3-4 km and there was this fella that fell out after walking 1.4 km without even wearing his 7kg fied pack.......buncha wusses!!!!I''ll laugh in their faces if I still have the strength and energy to do so after the route march...........hahahhahha

Well that's about it for now....dunno when I'm gonna update again.......but I already wasted enough time on this post....so Adios for now.....and Best of Luck to the girls for their exams starting on the 25th of october.........alright....I'm outta here....haha

11:14 PM