Sunday, October 30, 2005 -

Finally!!! I am out of tekong for my mega-kick-ass 4 day holiday from monday till thursday!!! Goddamn ...The 3 past weeks have been SUPER-SIONG.....although I can't go into detail about the specifics of the training we do....cos must repect the SAF's code of silence....anyway Three weeks ago I had very high fever,last week I had a two day live range where I was confined on saturday and only allowed to book out and book back in camp on a sunday and this week my saturday was burned again and I could only book out on sunday evening after doing my standard obstacle course,grenade test,strength training and marching drills with my rifle.....BUT FINALLY I HAVE REACHED MY 4 DAY DEEPAVALI/HARI RAYA HOLIDAY!!......freaking hell....I have thought about nothing else but my holiday for this entire two weeks......I did'nt even care if they put us to pure hell for the past few weeks ...I just did whatever shit they wanted me to...as long as I could have my 4 day holidays......to be able to have this few days holidays is like the freaking most wonderful and amazing thing to happen to me in a long time....

I tell ya.....nowadays my entire mood revolves entirely around which day I get to book out.......its true man...its the only thing I think about and yearn for every week....just to get out of the island for a few hours.......if I heard that my precious saturdays were burned because of extra training....my morale straight away drops past freezing point and I'll be like super-sian for the entire week......if I heard that we can book out as per usual or if we have a super-long holiday like this.......I dun even care if they make me crawl on my belly across mud puddles, hide inside a goddamn swamp with grass stuffed all over my uniform and my face caked in camouflage cream, wear long sleeves unform,helmet and carry my 3kg rifle with a 2 kg SBO( imagine a male bra) strapped onto my waist under the hot sun EVERY day..like I did for the past two weeks...I'll just do it................but I'm not alone man....you can practically see the entire company morale go down when we hear that our weekends get burned.....and My saturdays HAVE been burned for two consecutive weeks already and it'll be three next week because my entire weekend will be burned cos my my field camp is next week......and I have a gut feeling I will be confined again if my 3 day leadersip SIT test in the jungle falls on the weekend......then it'll be 4 consecutive saturdays gone liao.......and I'll tell you..it SUCKS big time!!

Plus!!..........if the compulsory confinement is not enough....we can get confined and have our saturdays taken away on a regular basis over the smallest and most insignificant things.......it is so damn easy to have your weekend ripped from you because of a small mistake or wat.....like everytime we collect our rifle, we have to sign off on a piece of paper......the box size we are supposed to sign in is the size of a panadol pill(not the round ones the longer ones) and if we sign out of the box or touch the line of the box or if our signature looks different from our previous signature...POOF!!There goes your goddamn weekend......plus they want us to sign super-fast...like 50 people must sign and collect their fifle withing 1.30 mins or 2 mins...and then if our signature looks different we get into trouble.....also if you send your rifle without closing your dust cover( the side of the rifle where the bullet shells shoot out) or if you forget to sign the book-in or book-out book when you're on MC.....you'll also have to do 24 hour guard duty on a sunday or saturday and kiss your family or social time good bye.......every week at least a handful of 5-8 people get confined over all this kinda small things...its even worse when our company is in charge of guarding the island on the weekends...then we have to send like 18 people from our company to be guards and that's when our seargents and superiors get super particular about things and scrutinize every little thing to the finest detail in order to catch unwilling victims to do guard duty........every goddamn day I am so worried that I will sign out of the box or sign differently because everyday at 5.45 am in the morning I have to to collect my rifle and ever night at ard 8-9pm I have to send my rifle back...so theres like two chances a day for seven days to get confined for gaurd duty....woo-freaking-hoo

So anyway to recap the past few weeks.....three weeks ago like I said I kanna very high fever.....my temperature was 38.8 degrees....and 39-40 degrees is when you start getting fits or permanent brain-damage.........super sian.....my fever always hit its max temperature during the nights....and during the nights whenever you go medical centre...they die die dun want to let you get attend c status and go home and rest....they just chuck you in the sick bay till the next day and confine you in there until your temperature drops.......my verdict after visiting the medical centre? NEVER EVER get sick while in tekong.....you'll suffer...

The medical centre is open 24/7 but once after 5.30pm, which is the regular "closing time"............not only is the service super slow but they will never let you leave the island unless your fever is so high that it's potentially fatal.......I went there wtice, the first day my fever was like 38.2 degrees...so I went there...there were like 8 patients inside....and all 8 had already seen the medical officer....so I went in and the queue was at 56 on the electronic number board.....after filling up 3 different forms I got my queue number and it was 57.......and I thought this was gonna be a short wait.......little did I know that I needed to wait1 hr 15 mins for the board to jump one number from 56 to 57........and after the 5 min check up, I had to wait another 1 hr30mins for them to dispense my medicine and give me my medical status form.......but I was not the worst....a guy said he waited from 5.40pm to collect his medidcine and he got his medidcine at 9.40 pm!!...............wah lau....so I got 3 days of light duty and my medicine and went back.....the next night my fever shot up to 38.8 degrees...which as like pretty high fever....I though maybe this time can have chance to go home....no such luck.....they immediately sent me to the sick bay and put me on drips!!....

This is where it gets interesting.......for the drip ..the medics wanted to stuff a 5cm needle that was pretty damn thick into my my lower arm but he could'nt find my vein.....so he took a rubber glove and tied it onto my upper arm and asked me to squueze until my veins revealed themselves....so I did so and he inserted the 5 cm needed inside.....then after that I felt like my arm was under alot of pressure like It was gona explode.......my blood was flowing out instead of the glucose flowing in.....turned out that dumbass medic did'nt remove the rubber glove from my arm and he just turned,laughed and said"oops"..........wow....and after that he said that the drip was faulty.....so he had to remove the drip tube and connect a new one and he had to freaking re-tape the tube on my hand....I dunno what tape he used but it was super-sticky and when he pull it off chunks of my arm hair came off.....I had 4 pieces of tape on my arm...so you do the math...hhahaha.......and after he saw my face contorted in pain...he looked at me and said"free Brazillian wax man!"........goddamn......and the next day the medical officer came to take my temperature again to make sure my fever was going down......I had just checked my temp before he came in and it was till ard the 38.3-4 range but he was gonna confine me in the sick bayuntil my temp went below 38 degrees...and that day was my book-out day....so I had to get out of there ASAP.......so when he stuck his thermometer in my mouth....i allowed the temperature to go up to like 37.5 degrees and then i stuck the tip of my tongue on the tip of the thermometer to prevent the temp reading from being accurate and going up........and FINALLY he let me outta the place!!

The only upside about being sick that week was getting more time with my family.....cos i booked out on saturday afternoon n had to book back in on sunday at 7.00pm which means that every sunday.....I had to always get myself ready by 5.30pm and prepare to head back into the island but since I was still sick on sunday ....I went to see a private doctor and he gave me a 2 days MC inclusive of sunday...so I only had to book in on monday night........I was so sick but so damn happy that I did'nt have to go back in on sunday......I just layed on the sofa and watch ShangHai knights with my parents that sunday night without having to think about booking back into tekong that day............felt really good to get some extra time out....

Wenjun also fell sick around the same time and I was talking to her after I booked in on monday....ard tuesday or wednesday......hahha...and her voice was damn funny.....her laughter completely changed from her usual laughter into some weird raspy,stuttery laughter...hahhaha.......it was almost as bad as her "gollum" voice that she has whenever anyone call her in the morning and she just woke up .......but I think she was already getting better when I last spoke to her...well like I said its better to be sick before exams then be sick during the exam period itself......getting sick during exams is probably as bad as getting sick in tekong....hhahhah

The main event during the week I booked back into camp was my live range......two days of shooting real ammo with our m-16 rifle.....it is madatory for EVERYONE to pass live range if he wants to pass out from tekong......if you fail you life range, you have to redo your 9 weeks BMT all over again........and before we had our actual live range we had to do four days of practice shooting for IMT which started the saturday when I was sick, where we wore full uniform,SBO and helmet and shot computer targets in an air-con using computerised m-16s....so whenever we shoot, the way we grip our gun,the accuracy, the amount of centimetres we are off target,how close our shots are are all tabulated and processed by computers...........so we had to pass our computer test before they allowed us to even touch real ammo.....the first day I went for the IMT computerised shooting was horrible...like I said on saturday we were booking out at 12pm after we did our IMT from 7.00 am to 11.00am.....so I was just discharged from the medical centre and had to wear full uniform with helmet and everything and rush to the IMT centre even though I was like about to black out....I tell you....my shooting was so horrible that day that I was so afraid I would flunk the test......my head was super-hot,I was getting giddy from wearing helmet and my vision was completely blurry even without my specs......I really could'nt see the target in front of me and align my weapon at the centre of it by looking through this tiny ass pinhole on my rifle...........the target on the screen away from us was probably the size of a keyboard button from the distance we were away from it....I was so completely dazed that I could'nt see anything.....it was horrrible, I was sweating cold sweat,my eyes were blurry and tearing from the sweat dripping tinto my eyes and I was giddy as hell.......so chiar lat until the instructor had to remove my helmet and stroke my head.....when he removed my helmet and asked me to look at the target again......I could'nt see nuts,it was so blur....so i thought my specs dropped off when I removed my helmet...I was like telling the instructor:"Sir...I can't see anything...I think I lost my specs...can you help me to find it?!".........he looked at meand said:"But....You're wearing your specs."............diao......completely dazed man.......needless to say my first IMT was a disaster and for that weekend I was so worried that maybe I was really cock-eyed and a horrrible shot and might have to redo my 9 weeks BMT.....

LUCKILY....that happened to be a one-off incident and the next time I went for IMT.....I did pretty damn well......passed the computer test and went for my live range........which was a thousand times more stressful then IMT......

My live range last week fell on two days...friday and saturday....bad enough that my saturday was burned but .....but the live range was super tiring and stressful.......friday was the practice and saturday was the actual live range test.... for friday we had to wake up at 5 am in the morning instead of the usual 5.30am and be at the live range ground by 6.30am.......and the entire company finished the first day practice at the live range at 3 am on saturday......we went back slept for two hours and woke up at 5am for our actual live range test......so for the two days of live range(48 hrs) I managed to sleep for a grand total of 4 hrs .......that's not the worse part.......ok so the sleeping hours are practically non-existent,the microwavable meals we get at the live range are horrible, we had to sit and squueze on wooden benches in a zinc-roofed waiting area for more then 20 hrs a day to await our turn to shoot( everyone shot about 8-10 times)......and there coackroaches and insects and dirt all over the floor that we could sit or lie on....but those are small problems compared to the stress of live range.......

I'm serious...I never felt so stressed in my life as I am in army....in school,when I was studying....sure it was stressful to study for exams and try not to have to repeat any modules and stuff.....but the stress in NS is on a whole different level......what's the worst case scenario if we flunk an exam paper?.....worst case scenario is that we have to retake the module........but for things in the army like live range.....worst case scenario....you could be jailed in a military jail for 7 years or get your face blown off because of problems with your m-16 like a chamber explosion.......

let's take a look at some of the consequences for screwing up at live range.....for the small stuff: we have to sign on a piece of paper everytime we collect our gun magazine with the live ammo for shooting.....sign ot of the box and we get 20 pumping.....which is no problem.........if you misfire......you get 4 mths of jail time in a detention barrack (misfire don't mean shooting someone...misfire is more simple....just like for e.g: we have snapping targets which are targets which stay up for 4 seconds and you have to shoot them within 4 seconds otherwise they go down and you don't get any points.......if it happens that you fire a second after the target snaps down...that's a misfire...you get 4 mths in a military jail...if you so happen to unload two rounds on a same target by accident...that's misfiring...4 mths too), if you lose your rifle or if so happens that any ammunition or empty bullet shells are found on you you get 7 years jail time in the detention barrack and for the most stressful part: all our m-16s and our ammo magazines have been used by many,many,many batches of recruits so they have alot of problems at times........so sometimes when you shoot you get IA( which means either the bullet does not load properly,two bullets load at the same time, the bullet is stuck or something)......and an IA could sometimes(although rarely) result in a chamber explosion especially if the explosive tip of the bullet goes off........personally at the practice and actual test alone I kanna 6-7 times IA.....one time my freaking bullet was bent and my seargent had to remove it cos he said it might result in a chamber explosion....and since your face is very close to the chamber cos you need to take aim when you fire........heads are gonna literally roll if there is a chamber explosion........goddamn......the level of stress if really way high.....in school if you screw up,at the end of the day you can still go home....in the army,sometimes if you screw up.......you just might leave the island in a body bag............casualties are rare......but Definitely not non-existent...I try not to think about it......otherwise You just won't dare to do anything at all.....maybe 1 in 1000 kanna this kinda fatal accidents.....so the odds ain't that bad.....although misfiring is much more likely to happen.....a handful of people misfired at the live range and Our officer in charge told them to either choose between getting charged and doing jailtime for 4 mths or be prepared to burn their weekends all the way until they POP from tekong......I'm just thankful its over......although next up I got my freaking Live grenade test.....hahhahah.......

But overall I really enjoyed the shooting part...minus all the stress-related factors.......feeling the recoil of the gun hit your shoulders everytime you squeeze the trigger, the bullet striking the target, the smell of gunpowder, the huge bang.........my shooting was okay lar......13/16 bullets hit the target for my day shoot and for my night shoot where the visibility is super low and we only have these blur,flashing lights to shoot at....my average was like 11-12/16.........not bad....No marksman....but not bad....I'm just glad I din flunk the damn test...

So anyways let's talk about my Buddy in camp..........yup.Idiot.Numbskull.Doofus.Dumbass dun even begin to cover how chiar lat he is. He is the MOST hated guy in the platoon.Bar None.I've made my dislike for him pretty clear to all my friends but in camp I dun wanna bad mouth him at all,whatever it is,he's assigned to me as my buddy and so I don't wanna like talk bad about him, I just keep my comments to myself.........well I probably dun need to kepp my comments to myself since the entire platoon is coming to me and telling me what a complete dumbass he is. People are actually walking up to me and telling me how F*cked up he is and I'm gonna be in trouble in field camp.........imagine people in my platoon that I have not spoken more then 5 mins for are appraoching me to complain about him....I counted 14-15 people coming up to me this week not counting my entire section of 12 people who really dislike him to the core........everytime he opens his mouth people just wanna shut him up, people all over my platoon of 50 people shake their heads everytime they pass him, there are even people who insult him openly.......there's this guy who is standing beside my buddy when we collect or send our rifles...we have two rows,my row sign and then collect the rifle,his row collect the rifle before signing......so he stood like 10 cm away from my buddy only...he turned his head,saw my buddy and proclaimed loudly.."Wah Lau that C*** b** face is back ar?!"...............I really dunno what to say about him...

Remeber I said he looked like a neanthredal man? the missing link between ape and man?.....you thought I was joking?I din make a peep about how I thought he looked like in camp....but there are these two guys who came up to me and asked:"Do you wanna see fred flinstone?" and I said:"wth you're talking abt?"......they said:"You buddy lar....he look like a cave man!!"...........the martian manhunter forehead and brow, the jutting chin, the fact that his nose is touching his upper lip really sometimes make me wonder whether being vegetarian like him will make a normal human devole a few evolutionary cycles..........but to be honest I could'nt give a damn about his looks........it dun matter as long as he does what he must do and don't gimme so much problems......but unforetunately he is probably the most problematic guy in the platoon........he performed the worst in the entire platoon for his IPPT fitness test, he constantly screws up and gets guard duty, he is always moving slow and falling in late, he is constantly distracted, he freaking SLEEP and eat biscuits in front of my seargent while my seargent is explaining to ask how to use an m-16 rifle properly,he is super defensive and sensitive...........he is bringing down the whole platoon with his behavior and the platoon really hate him for it.............sometimes they are downright hostile man......it'll be slightly better if he was just slow and dumb and blur but willing to accept what others tell him....but he is super defensive and sensitive and he just can't take anybody telling him off and he is completely resistant to making any changes to improve himself......

The smallest things seem to be like such a big problem for him....case in pont:Peeing is a simple normal everyday routine you don't think twice about.....but for him its a big problem.......do you know he can wake up piss 4-5 times a night every night?He wakes up at 2-3 am and pees every night............and guess wat? since in my upcoming fieldcamp everytime you need to go to the toilet,you need to ask your buddy along.........he says he wants me to wake up everyday at 2-3am for 7 days and accompany him to the goddamn pee hole in the jungle to pee........I told him its impossible....field camp is one of the most goddamn tiring thing in BMT......everyday you'll be crawling in mud,sleeping with insects training like hell and he wants me to wake up every night at 2-3 am and expect me to wake up at 5.30 am after that? ...I told him as buddies we should indeed help each other but I was willing to compromise...I would follow him to the toilet at 2-3am for half of the duration field camp(or every alternate days)...and the other half he'll have to settle himself with a zip lock bag.....no way can even the fittest goddamn coomando sleep only 3-4 hrs every night and do jungle training everyday........I told him I will collapse one fine day during field camp if he wants me to follow him every nite for the 7 days......it is just beyond my physical capabilities to do so and still be able to tahan the training for 7 days.........So I was willing to compromise but he die die want me to follow him 7 days...so I told him take it or leave it....I told him that I needed to constantly look out for him because he always screws up and I would'nt be able to do so if I could'nt even take care of myself...........and he was so stressed that he could'nt pee 3-4 times a night during field camp.......my god...what is he a goddamn baby? he's like 21 years old and he still can't control his bladder?............... so he was stressed an entire day because of peeing.............if peeing can be a major problem and difficulty for him...I dunno what else he wun find difficult to do.........haiz

Seriously man.....I never met anyone like him.....sometimes I wonder why I always kanna teamed with this kinda people...why do I always have to do more then my alloted workload no matter whether I am in school or the army.....goddamit.....Maybe I was a freeloader in my previous life....hell maybe I was YS or Andre in my previous life and now I gotta pay the price...hhhaha..

Some more this week I have to keep providing free counselling for him.........have to have private talks with him about how to reach a compromise on his peeing situation and to console him cos the entire platoon hates him......wah lau he already broke down and cried three times this week....first time cos my section mates always just tell him off whenever he says anything cos he never says anything of value.....second time cos he said the whole platoon hates him( cos he is always slow at doin things,defensive,always doing things wrongly and differently from others,rude to one of our platoon's nicest seargents....the list goes on..) and third time cos he finally realized how badly he is doing......cos he got the worst results for Napfa in the entire platoon of 50 people....failed every station except sit up.......haiz and even though I'm fed up with him I still have to keep counselling him......goddamn lor during our live range firing, he did so many mistakes and was shouted and scolded so many times that he told me:" If I really can't take it anymore I am gonna put a bullet in my head!"...........damn man that was some scary shit...especially since that day we were using live ammunition all the way.....I'm afraid one of this days he is gonna just lose it and unload a few bullets into my ass.....goddamn lor even he he do funny things to himself..I will also get punished cos of the buddy system..........like for e.g if he goes mad...I will be interogated and punished cos his my buddy and I never detected or reported any signs of him going mad.....wah lau nowadays everyday he is complaining about how much he hates the platoon,how much the platoon hates him and how much he hates himself for being such a dumbo....everyday lor.......sian man......he is so defensive and infelxible that no matter what people tell him or advise him..he wun listen and he'll just stick to his own thinking and make no compromises at all.....How to help someone who won't help himself........I just freaking WISH i have a semi-normal person for a buddy.....I dun even ask for a normal person...just Semi-normal will do!!!........hahah.....

Anyways enough about that fool...I still have to go back and face him once my holidays is over......I'm SOOOOOOOO looking forward to that.....1 more mth and I'll be rid of him....1 more freaking mth......haiz I really think that I'm in a world of trouble for my field camp....

So I was saying this week was damn siong.......I racked up a list of injuries and a decent set of results for all my test....did well for my grenade practical test and my camoflage and concealment test(where we had to stuff grass all over our uniform,cover our face in camo cream and just hide and blend in this jungle/swamp area and my officer is pretty happy wbout my napfa test results.....as for the injuries let's take a look at what momentoes this week training left me with.....

1.) I have a blister wound on my hand the size of a one cent coin on my palm....we had to do this monkey bar station at the standard obstacle course area and this monkey bar is different from normal monkey bars cos the direction of the bars is different.....first quarter of the monkey bar is like a normal monkey bar and then midway through the direction of the bar is sideways then the 3/4 g is like a normal monkey bar again and finally the direction of the bar changes again......so anyways i had to do it three times for practice....which is no problem....but little did I know that after I did it the second tim...I kanna instant blister on my palm and when I did the bar for a third time a whole piece of my flesh came off....and a see this super raw hole in my palm with like liquid dripping out constantly......lucyk thing it healed before my napfa test or no way can I pass my pull-up...

2.) Both sides of my inner thighs near my groin are are swollen and i've been walking like a duck for two days....because this week we have to keep leopard crawling here and there (where we lie flat on our stomach and use our elbow and legs to crawl frontwards).....and the underwar keeps chaffing on my inner thighs.....so because f the friction both sides of my inner thinghs hurt like freaking hell.......its getting better now though..

3) I'm pooping blood.Nope I'm not joking.........I dun't have some crazy ass piles on my ass or anything but as I mentioned before I go to toilet once every 5 days or so......because goddamn it.....the toilet is always so goddamn packed with like 20 people waiting for their turn and the smell is just horrible...plus if you get a toilet where somebody just had diarhorrea...they leave some souvenirs that make my stomach turn.....so I just usually hold my poop in for days and go to the toilet when its not peak hours and I dun have to breathe in second-hand fart gas...........seriously I'm not particular about cleanliness...I can sleep on dusty floors with roaches and flies and whatever, I can wear a uniform for seven goddamn days until my uniform smells like ammonia, I can crawl in puddles of mud and lie down in a swamp full with ankle deep mud......but I just can't can't poop in a toilet filled with gallons of farts

So anyways one day I go to the toilet after abstaining from pooping for 5-6 days and It was so difficult to poop that I think I burst a blood vessel or I kanna some sort of wound in my ass cos I was like forcing so hard.......so that was when I found out that I was bleeding from my ass.....next few times it got worse...the worst one was when the amount of blood on the toilet paper was as much as the blood you'll shed if you scrapped your knee....just a huge bloodstain man.......so I got damn scared and decided to force myself to poop everyday.......so nowadays instead of using my platoon toilet I have to run to the first floor toilet(where there is very little people) or I run all the way to the next block and use the toilet for the seargents and officers..........luckily I think the wound has healed and all has been fine for many days...

Who knew that going into the army would give a man temporary PMS....hahhaha....PMS from the Ass.........but looks like Its gonna come one more time next week cos of my 7 day field camp......nope....I don't think I'll be pooping much for those 7 days.....if at all.......I'm gonna need a box of Whispers ultra dry or something by the time my field camp ends....ahhahaha

So anyways next week is my field camp...so I'll be cut off from civilization for an entire week and go through some of the most tiring training ever......finish only on the 12th of november....I dun even know how can a person tahan 24 hrs in a jungle......its sian enough to spend 24 hrs in the comfort of your own home....but 7 days in a jungle........wow.......gonna be tough times ahead......and with the kind of buddy I have....its gonna be Catastrophic times ahead...hahha

I think I'm just gonna enjoy my 4 day holidays to the max.......its just the calm before the storm.......alright gonna watch my Gladiator special edition vcd and my 1960 Batman tv movie.......I'm sure I'll be filled with some pretty memorable stories by the time my field camp ends.....hahaha....the girls' exams finish on the 8th of Nov...hope all of them do well.......hope all my friends anjoy their deepavali and Hari Raya and hope I survive my field camp in one piece...hahha.......

6:11 PM


Friday, October 07, 2005 -

Miracles of miracles....I'm back for a quick update!!!!...hahaha.........its a miracle I found time to write this blog.....cos every weekend I am trying to do a hundred different things at once to make up for lost time...seriously, last week I was surfing the net,watching Karena Lam's movie "Mob sister" and eating an early dinner and packing my bag...at the same time.....hahha...Its already been a month since I enlisted...Life has been great....the food has been edible, the drinks like the fruit juice and punch are two drops away from being colored plain water, the girls are non-existent except for the most eligible female who's a saggy 55 year old woman who works at tekong's mini-mart, you have to sleep with 11 other man in the same bedroom,I can wear the same bloody uniform for 3 days in a row, about 10-15 people can see my bare naked ass everytime I shower and I even get to wake up at 5.30 am every day....WOW.....can You feel my joy yet?....hahaha

Now I'm already 1/3 rd done for my stay in tekong.....I've completed my IPPT phase( The physical training phase) and I've already jumped into my actual BMT phase on friday which cover more combat,field and technical related areas........the schedule will be damn packed for the next few weeks, the seargent told us to expect maybe 1 or 2 hrs of free time a day and he says we'll be so tired sometimes that we won't even wanna bathe.......a very comforting thought...hahaha.....but I'm getting more used to army life bit by bit I think....I just wanna get through my BMT and compelte my two years of service....my aunty says that too years will pass in the blink of any eye......I'm not sure what eye is that supposed to be cos I've blinked thousands of times.....hahaha...and I'm still in tekong,sweating buckets of sweat..hahha...

Seriously though....life ain't hat bad in tekong......I'm really enjoying some of the physical training.......I can run 4.8 km without seeing angels dance around me, I can do 7 pull-ups, 52 sit-ups in 60 seconds, 20-30 push ups without much hassle.......physically I think I'm coping well........out of my platoon of 50 people,only about 8 have never reported sick,injured or missed any of the strength and speed training exercises and I'm one of them.........hahaha.....its damn scary how chiar lat some people are...they report to the medical centre for every damn thing in order to escape training......flu,headache,slight muscle ache,stomach ache,diarhorea even surn burns......hahhahaha.......I think My platoon achieved some record for highest number of people on medical status on friday....cos friday was the first day of BMT and the schedule was super-packed......we were informed of the schedule on thursday evening....and suddenly on friday...23 out of 50 people reported sick or for injuries...that's half my platoon!!!....hahaha.........damn those scheming fools!!........

If I have some small sickness like flue ,I won't report it to miss training cos 8 rounds of running is the best cure for flu...hahaha...., if you wanna do something... do it big....hahhaha......I dun want attend B medical status(where u have to stay in tekong but you will be excused from exercise for a few days)......I wanna go straight for the attend C status( where you have fever and can book out of tekong for a few days)...hahaha.....I tried to get sick this week but really cannot man.....haiz.....I had flu and sore throat on sunday but when I booked in, I was cured....I had a fever on monday but It wasn't high enuff to report to the medical centre....hahaha.....I tried eating Oras and drinking milo to make myself more heaty....but......dammit, after I did my strength training that day....the fever was gone........I think my immune system is like on steroids right now...........some people can can fever 3 out of 4 weeks in Tekong like one of my bunk mates.......hahha.....me? I'm still trying to get attend C just once.......cos my Officer in charge thinks I'm some kind of super healthy and dedicated recruit after he saw my physical test results and attendance record.....that would hinder my dreams of getting a 8-5 job as an administrative worker.....hahaha

The physical training is ok.......cos even no matter how shagged and tired and freaking exhausted you are....you know that after you had your rest....you'll be fine and ready to go on the next day........but I think the mental part is more important then the physical part in tekong........its better to be physicaly weak and mentall strong then the other way round......haa.....3 people have gone mad in my company....and its some scary shit.....army life is so different from their normal lifestyles...that they just snap.....hahha......this one guy was punished by his seargent and had to do 50 jumping jacks,after he did them...he ran up to his bunk at the 4th floor, screamed,kicked his metal cupboard,threw his helmet and continued screaming.........hahahha....funny shit........going mad after 50 jumping jacks.....at least if he goes mad after 50 push ups or wat I Can still understand....hahhaha....needless to say that guy got his psycho ass hauled off back to woodbridge that afternoon......scary seeing people go mad like this....haha......his scream was just.......effed up.....like he was in the depths of hell or something....hahhaa....

I think I'm fairly well-adjusted..........I just let each day pass by itself.....as long as once a week I can book out on a saturday....I don't even care how bad the food is..I just eat whatever they give me so I will have energy for training,I don't care what sort of training or physical shit they put me through....I'll just do everything nicely so I can get out of that island every.....guess I'm getting used to it, I don't feel too sad booking out on sat and going back on sun.....I'm taking the physical stuff quite well......and I don't really feel home sick even when I first came in......the only thing that takes alittle getting used to is the thought of doing this for the next 2 years........to get only a day out every week for the next two years, to surf the net and watch tv once or twice a week only, to wake up at 5.30 am and sleep at 10.30 am everyday for two years.........I'm still wrapping my head around that concept......hahaha......seriously I feel kinda weird when I go orchard road in my civilian clothes after looking at bald,uniformed people driving green colored vehicles six days a week.......hahaha......females now look like some great wondrous new race of creatures everytime I book out......hahaha...two years of this........I hope I wrapped my head around this idea by the time my 3 mths in tekong ends.......I think I will...hhaaha...I have to!!

Anyway here's just a recap of some more notable stuff in camp so far:

1) My buddy is a retard - he looks like a cro-magnon man, he lost his gold pendant on the first day of NS, he whacked his bottle of body foam off the third floor on the second day, he waked me up on the third day at 3 am cos he was scared of going to the toilet, he bought some freshener on the 6th day and did'nt know how to use it so he took out the gel subsatnce in the freshener and placed it in his hands, he could'nt do some simple PE exercise and cos I was his buddy I had to do the same exercise with him in front of 200 people as a punishment for him, he had to write 500 lines of "I will remember to shave)"and 500 lines of "I will not lie to my commander" cos his facial hair only grows at the side of his head(like an orang-utan) and he din shave after the seargent told him to, he sprays holy water made out of a burnt amulet,glutinous rice and tea leaves on his body and bed before he dares to sleep, he lost his body foam again this week, he tried to apologise to me for making me do the stupid exercise punishment with him by giving me a packet of Oreos....seemed good until I realized he gave me some Orea knock-off called Cream-o...which further aggravated me, he started acting like Rambo and making his own childish sound effects and pinting his guns everywhere when the officer passed him his actual m-16 rifle, he's a vegetarian yet during the friday of my two weeks confinement he wanted to smuggle 2 pork floss buns and 3 swiss rolls back to the bunk so he could bring them home for his family and its a lucky thing the seargent saw the porkfloss buns sticking out of his pants pockets like his balls were swollen...cos Pork is forbidden in bunks cos if there is any prok brought into the bunks some weird-ass mystical voodoo is gonna start happening...........I'm sure I'll have more stuff by the next time I post, I'll also try to post a photo of him after I pop in 2 mths so all of you could really see that he's the missing link between man and ape...........haiz.....but I guess all's fair in life, he's a buddhist/vegetarian and so he belives in Karma......well he's been assigned as a toilet cleaner, where he have to clean tons of shit every morning at 7am.......so I guess......Karma really exists...hahhaa

2) I tasted someones sweat - It was traumatic.......I had my first add test. One of the stations was the CPR test........we had to wear our helmet and uniform for the test, so anyways one of the CPR segements was clearing the victims air waves.........so I played the victim and this guy from another section asked me to open my mouth so he could check if my air way was clear and if there was any food in it......that numb nuts was bleeding profusely....and as I opened my mouth...one FRICKING drop of sweat dripped from his helmet straight into my mouth......hahhaha....shit man...i was blowing outta my mouth,trying to blow the freaking salty taste outta my mouth.....hahhaa....some more the seargent said to me:" Aye victim can still move ar?!"....ahhaha

3) I kanna Guard Duty- Tuesday this week I was selected to go guard duty where from 7pm to 7am next day, 4 groups of us had to take turns to patrol the island in different shifts...I had two shifts, 8pm to 10 pm and 2am to 4 am......we could sleep during the time between our shifts......too bad the guard rest room is the filthiest place I have ever seen...EVER.....There are twelve beds there.......all twelve beds and the pillows are black and coated in thick ash-like dust all over, there are ants all over the floors, there are rotting chicken-wing bones in the cabinet that has been there since lord only knows when, 3 out of 5 fans are spoilt and all are coated aith thick/black dirt and there are even RATS scurrying around the room under the beds.........I was glad everytime my shift was done so I could get out of that room......I patroled the island 4 times which totalled to abot 12-15km.......the patrolling was okay.....but it rained like holy helll at 4 am.....wow, the sky was orange and lightning was streaking everywhere.......the worst part was just the sleeping condition.....I din even sleep at all that night, I just sat on a chair and read someone's FHM..........I was off duty at 7 am next day on wednesday......and after breakfast I was aloowed to rest at my bunk and sleep until 10.45 am....but then my seargent decided to conduct "Stand By area" inspection at 7.30 am and I was aloowed to sleep while everyone else who did nt do guard duty was doing pumping for failing to clean the room......the seargents was both shouting, my platoon mates were all pumping......and needless to say I just pretended to close my eyes...........so did'nt catch any sleep,went for lunch after that and at 3 pm I had my Route March where I strapped 10 kg worth of extra stuff like my field pack and rifle and SBO and marched for 4 km weighing like 72kg............nearly died...but survived and went for dinner and after that had to prepare for the next day....so finally at 10.30 pm I could sleep.......so I was awake from 5.20 am on tuesday to 10.30pm on wednesday.......I stayed up for 40 hrs without sleep.....that's gotta be some new kinda personal insomnia-related record for me......next day I felt like shit.......really shit.....hahaha... plus I had what I call a Triple blister after guard duty...the day before guard duty, I had a blister on the second last toe of my left foot after running bout3.6km ....and since the next day I had guard duty I had to pierce the blister and drain the fluid so that It won't be that pain when I walk, den the day of guard duty...after walking for so many hours I got a new blister on the same toe and since I had route march later during the day I had to burst the blister again and after the 4km route march a new blister grew on the same toe!! The blister grew one after another on the same toe...wah lau.....hahaha....there were like remenants of the two previous blister covering the third one......super weird....

Hhahahha...........damn man....some really interesting but weird shit is always happening in Tekong...hahaha.....but I guess after all the training and punishment and whatever.......it kinda makes you appreciative of the small things in life.......I'm seriously deprived man.....for the past week I have been fantasizing about eating at Burger King and just taking a long,nice walk in Bukit Pnajang Plaza......when you miss going to a cock-up,boring-ass shopping centre like BP Plaza...you know you have some major problems........hahahha........a month ago, I could go there anytime I wanted, any day of the week......now? My idea of a fan-f*cking-tastic time is just walking at Bukit Panjang plaza,buying some new vcds and eating Mcdonald's Big Mac extra value meal...I haven't found the time to do it yet...but I think I got a 4 day holiday in the beginning of November.....hahaha....I'm gonna go Bp Plaza and chiong the TS video,NTUC and Mcdonalds during the 4 day break...hhaha...........

Damn man....I should also mention that I'm bald as hell now.......haiz every 3 weeks must cut hair, I was already having a nice bushy George Cloonely-kinda amount of hair this week..........then the barbers came in and shaved everything off..........I call them the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.........4 of them just ride in and raid the entire company of their precious hair......and they even charge you $2 for this effed up hair cut!!!!Those Bloodsuckers!!! Shit and one fat malay woman barber is actually a trasvestite........one of my stupid platoon mate shouted "BAPOK" from the 2nd level at that He/she when she was wheeling his stuff to the training shack on the ground level....then at this moment I came out and asked"Bapok? where got Bapok?"........den I looked down from the second floor and the fat trans turned her head back and waved at me after hearing him shout "Bapok!"..........SHIT MAN........I ran straight back into my bunk in terror.....

And now....for the next part of my post....A Survey? Some fellas...hahha.....have been saying that its super unlikely and doubtful that I would do this survey......well I LIVE to defy expectations and prove people wrong!!!.....Here goes.....

7 things that scare me:

1.) Having no plans and long term goals for my future
2.) The food in tekong
3.) Getting foot rot,dengue fever or other serious diseases during my stay in tekong
4.) Anything majorly bad that happen to my family,friends or loved ones
5.) Getting confined in camp during my precious saturdays
6.) My retarded buddy screwing up during live firing and getting me into trouble
7.) SY in a bikini....hahhaha

7 things I like the most about Me:

1.) My voice - I have a heckuva diverse range of different voices for any occasion or situation and I do a lovely impression of Yoda.
2.) My eyes - I like my eyes......long lashes are cool
3.) My Family.....AWWWWW
4.) My Friends....Double AWWWWW
5.)My Schlong- Its all good baby....its all good..
6.) My artistic leanings- drawing well is always an assets in many situations
7.) My collection of pirated dvds

7 things I hate the most about me:

1.) Short attention span- blank out completely at times
2.) My thighs - too meaty I think....
3.) I just can't turn down people who ask me for help- I feel bad if I do even when I have no reason for feeling bad...hahaha...at all...
4.)My current hair cut
5.)Dark eyes from lack of sleep
6.)My chinese....I can't read anything beyond primary 6 level
7.) Can't save any money even if my life depended on it

7 Most important things in my Room:

1.) My air-con -once a week I get to sleep in my air-con room and snuggle with my blanket......heavenly
2.)My drawing Table - spend hours on it.....well...used to...
3.) My blanket - I like my stinky blanket........its releases this pheromone that makes me feel blissfully sleepy
4.) My shelves of comics and trade aperbacks
5.) My cupboard full of keep sakes,momentoes,etc
6.) My Baby photos
7.) My Lava lamp- Did I mention I have a Lava Lamp?! I HAVE A LAVA LAMP!!...hahaha.....whenever I book out on saturday...I will turn on my lava lamp and just enjoy staring at it for 15 mins....hypnotically relaxing

7 Random Facts about me:

1.) I Love playing with kids
2.) I poop twice a week only in tekong -cos of the long ques and the shitty condition and atmospherics of the toilets at times....its better to just suck back your poop and go back to your bunk and sleep. *Note: Never go without pooping for more then 3 days cos if you do, when you finally poop....the pain will be the closest thing to child birth you'll ver feel/ plus farting when running your shuttle run is just embarassing..
3.) My legs are not the hairiest in tekong
4.)I passed My pull-up trial test liao...7 pull-ups Baby!!
5.) I like comics
6.) I broke my two front teeth when I was 3....and the adult teeth grew out a record breaking 2 years after my milk teeth came out!! I was bogay for two years when I was very young......
7.) My favorite snack is roasted chest nuts

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1.) Make a million bucks
2.) Buy the Detective comics#27 - the first appearance of Batman in 1939!!
3.) See my kids grow up in the future
4.) Watch Every episode of Batman the animated series and Seinfeld
5.) Visit different countries
6.) Meet up with all my old friends to catch up and talk about the good ol' days
7.) Make sure my Insurance policy is paid up

7 things I can do:

1.) Draw
2.)Slack
3.)Sleep
4.)Eat
5.) Fondle..hahhaha
6.) waste an hour of my time doing this damn survey
7.) Speak impeccable english

7 things I can't do:

1.) Fooling myself that this survey is actually not a waste of my time..hhaha
2.) sneeze and open my eyes at the same time
3.) poop daily in tekong
4.) Say that Tekong's food is good
5.) Convince myself that my army buddy is not retarded or a descendant of fred flintstone
6.) Be interested in more then one person at a time......hahhhaha...only my pal Gav can do it
7.) Paint well

7 things I say the most:

1.) BULLSHIT!
2.) Dammit!!
3.) Aye action ar!
4.) Sian siar!
5.) Aye can you don't disturb Sy or not...?
6.) Yo!
7.) Aye Eff lar!!

7 celeb crushes:

1.) Karena Lin Jia xin - accept no substitues
2.) Angelina Jolie - hottest lips EVER
3.) Christy Chung
4.) Jessica Alba
5.) Celest Chong
6.) Fiona Xie
7.) Elva Hsiao

Actaully number 3 to 7 are not really celeb crushes...they r just gorgeous and appealing to me......but I'm not actually a big fan of theirs..

7 people I've love to see doing this:

1.) SY- I'm really curious about who are the 7 celebs that she managed to crush
2.) Wenjun - Done already....Super Unlikely I'll do eh?Ha!
3.) Huiling- Done already........You doubt I will do this? Ha!
4.) Geraldine - the girls only left you haven't do the survey liao gerald
5.) Felix - I wanna know what is Felix's favorite 7 things he can do to a dog
6.) Liang Jie- My Blogless friend whose platoon mates stole 6 loafs of Gardenia bread right under me
7.)Lin Jia xin- Frankly I would love seeing her do anything.....

So There you go!! I did the survey!!!.................and just waited 1 over hr of my goddamn precious saturday doing it!!hahahhaa.......its freaking 12.40 am now.....shit man.....I should have just been predictable and not do this survey......but They were challenging me I tell ya!!! Doubting me....knowing that I will defy their doubts and do the survey!!hahha.....damn I really regret doing the survey.........hahhaha

well......Just came back from dinner with my parents, My father and brother's birthday was on 5th october on wednesday but since I was in camp......we had to wait till Saturday to have the birthday dinner together..........eat a helluva lot of stuff at Dan Ryans near tanglin mall.....food is not bad...........

Also some not so good stuff has happened to my grandparents and cousin......My gandfather is a diabetic and both of his legs are completely black cos of the water retention and poor blood circulation.......and he had a cut the other day, for a diabetic wounds are super dangerous and take forvever to heal......after my gandfather cut himself, the wound was infected, he had a fever and the doctor said that they might need to amputate his legs.......thank God he got better and it did'nt have to come to that........For My grandmother, she like many women of her age has extremely weak legs, My grandmother is on the heavy side so her legs cannot take her body weight and dareby are contorted outwards....so instead of having straight legs her legs contort outwards at her knee level and they look like a triangle.....plus my grand mother previously had a metal rod installed in her leg so when her legs contort outwards the metal rod digs into her knees........so she came home one night and while she was climbing the short steps to her door(My grandparents live on the house on the ground level/void deck of Bishan and they have a small stair case leading to their house)....my Granny tripped and fell on her face......now my grandmother's mouth is completely bruised and swollen and her botton row of teeth are all cracked..................and if that's not enough one of my younger cousins, Troy, who's taking his PSLE now had contracted some super high fever and a few daya later he seemed to have lost the use of both his legs......so my aunty had to request that he take his PSLE paper in the ground floor of the shcool instead of the Hall because he was in great pain and his legs have been rendered useless currently......the doctors still dunno what kinda sickness he contracted but I hear that his condition is a temporal one..........I hope all three of them get better soon.......Its really shitty hearing these kind of shitty things..........I'm in some remote island across the sea training from day to night and I basically can't do nuts about anything when I hear about this kinda stuff happening............. alittle bit effed up....I'm always getting these kinda news only days after they happen cos of my stay in tekong......bad for morale....make a shittier and exhausting day worse with this kinda things happening.....I guess its true what they say....."when it rains,it pours"...

Alright tommorrow or rather later today is booking in time again.....next week my BMT starts and the schdeuled is gonna be packed like all hell and I got my 6 km route march.......the route march is the ONLY freaking item I genuinely dread doing........marching in steps,singing songs, with a 7kg field pack strapped on your back, a 3kg SBO strapped to your waist, A 4kg rifle with the strap biting into your neck and wearing these super hot helmet and going for 6 km is no joke...........goddamn.....everytime I return from a route march, my shirt is soaked wet, my glasses are all fogged up,my eyes are hurting from the sweat that drip into them..........the only physical training item that really exhausts me and test my limits........Lord knows how am I ever gonna be able to do my 24 km road march at the end of my BMT..........hahhaha......I try my best to do it........I ain't ever gonna fall out of any route march until I'm on the verge of collapsing........I've seen people fall out in large numbers after walking 3-4 km and there was this fella that fell out after walking 1.4 km without even wearing his 7kg fied pack.......buncha wusses!!!!I''ll laugh in their faces if I still have the strength and energy to do so after the route march...........hahahhahha

Well that's about it for now....dunno when I'm gonna update again.......but I already wasted enough time on this post....so Adios for now.....and Best of Luck to the girls for their exams starting on the 25th of october.........alright....I'm outta here....haha

11:14 PM